"...when things are quiet, Gabriel just wants mommy to lay with him and comfort him, and Carol wraps her arms around him and whispers those motherly words of love that only a mother can. But, as soon as the doctors and nurses come in, he yells and cries for daddy and won't stop until I grab and hold him. This quiets him some but not completely. He is expecting me to protect him from the fear and pain he thinks is coming, but I am helpless to meet his expectations and my heart feels like it is being ripped out of my chest.
"My intellect tells me that stopping the pain is not in his best interest if he is to survive, but the heart of a warrior I have as his father and protector cries out in rage to stop his pain and fend off those behind
administering that pain. However, deep into the night as I sit here in this chair meditating on the silhouette of my wife and child lying on the hospital bed and I cry out in the depths of my soul, 'God stop the pain that has come upon me and my family ... and take it away.'
"I hear Him in my spirit say to me, 'Tom, you are acting with me as your Father, the same way Gabriel is acting with you as his father, so trust in me with the same trust you want Gabriel to have in you.'
With that, I surrender the passions of a warrior, and embrace the calming whispers of my Father who art in Heaven, knowing that when the sun rises in the morning, I must once again don the armor of a fatherly warrior..."
Monday, May 07, 2007
A Suffering Family
PLEASE NOTE: Future updates about Gabriel and his family may be found here.
A few bright spots in the lives of the Sullivan family since I last wrote. Gabriel had the spinal tap, and by God's grace no cancer cells were found in his spinal fluid. They have started chemo. And two of Gabriel's big brothers, Michael and Joshua, received Confirmation and First Communion. Gabriel received the Anointing of the Sick. "Three of my sons received sacraments this week. What blessings amongst the turmoil."
Not all the news is good, of course. As is often the case, the disease is every bit as hard on his parent as it is on little Gabriel. Tom writes:
Thank you for your continued prayers for the Sullivans.